Friday, January 20, 2012

The things that help us, hurt us.

While watching 30 Rock on my compuTV (just an old Goodwill computer I stream TV shows through...because I can't afford TiVO...or cable), I heard that old familiar gurgling that happens once or twice every night from the kitchen. When my neighbor in the apartment building uses their disposal, my sink backs up momentarily. It's a regular occurrence and I've gotten used to it. During the next ad break I ran into the kitchen to do the customary filling of my quart jar with water and rinsing the bubbles and food bits back down the sink [from whence they came] before filling the water filter back up. Whew.

Then I had a momentary revelation, as they tend to occur. This little daily annoyance led me to a double-rainbow-like quandary--what does it mean--about me? If I were in a relationship with my apartment (and I'm glad I'm not, beyond the fact that I'm sub-leasing the place), I know it wouldn't last. I wouldn't even move in with my apartment. Then I realized how many people are in relationships they don't really want to be in, but they'd rather put up with all the little daily annoyances than face the fact that they could do better. In that same way I realized that I NEED to put up with all the little daily annoyances of living in this apartment in LA. That's what I need to do to follow my dream. I know I can do better (and will), but I need to put up with these little annoying things today so I can put myself in a better place tomorrow.

As I am writing this the child upstairs is making sure I know he's throwing the biggest tantrum he can think of. Maybe I'm doing the same.

Crap, now I have to shut up, because I know when I walk down the street to see an improv show later tonight, I'll walk past a few homeless people. At least I have a roof over my head and I can complain about my sink temporarily backing up. I'm not in a bad relationship, I'm in a temporary situation. I'm not sticking it out until death, I'm living as best I can while I prepare for the next step, wherever it may be, with a whole new set of idiosyncrasies to complain about.

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