How much do you care about things?
How much should you care about things?
So many relationships fall apart because people care about the wrong things. Scratch that, they fall apart because the individuals care very much about certain things but perhaps channel that caring into other aspects. Namely into trivial matters like putting the toilet paper roll in backwards (there is a correct way, just so you know). Is that what the relationship is about? If the rolls go in right, you'll live happily forever? Nah, it's a signifier for being heard and respected, but these are the things we find ourselves caring so much about, to the point of destruction, at times.
I've been seriously wondering how to upgrade my status at work, to get paid for the job I do, not the position I am in, filling the shoes of someone who left, but since I'm doing it so well, they just aren't opening that position up. That means I'm not being recognized in the same financial way my predecessor was. I also do more than him, but he was with the company too long and was far too jaded to really care. That's the path I see myself on. Caring so much about being compensated that I am expending my energy trying to justify my own right to be paid closer to my worth. Do I want to continue working for Columbia? Heck no. Why do I care?...because I do. I would be far happier to clock in my hours there, and clock out the second I leave that building. I should expend my energy in my real passions, instead of in a corporation who can't even put the toilet paper in right!
Something in me needs to change. I may give them a few hours every week, but I cannot give them my energy the rest of the time. I don't need that raise and job title (though I would not reject either), so I need to stop spending valuable head-space on that topic. I need to care less about that. I know me and my need to achieve, but who in their right mind would want to achieve at banging their head against a cold rock?
Perhaps too many people.
Either way, what do I care about?
Love[?] And sharing it in the ways I know how through my writing and acting. And accepting all the hardships that go along with it.
Is that it?
Probably not, but it's a good start, and much better than the other option, the one that ends next to a toilet.