What's it worth?
When an opportunity for work crops up on one of the acting forums in Portland, I always know the first bulk response (because everyone responds to all, so that we can all benefit from the knowledge...it gets a bit much); what's the pay?
About every other month there is a huge strand of conversation devoted to being paid as an actor or not. For me, I'm starting out and building my reel. Turns out I need to have done stuff so I can do bigger stuff. Makes sense. For this reason I do check what's going on and if something interests me, I find out more information. I've found a few neat projects through this method. The question is, why is it okay for me to be expected to do work without pay? Do people expect this from plumbers? I graduated from a two-year professional actor training program, which is the metaphorical equivalent of trade school. Do you hire an electrician who just graduated and have him rewire your house so he can build his resume?
I think the issue is that every a) thinks they can act, and b) knows about acting. Everyone sees movies or watches TV, and they all have opinions about that. Few people watch house painters and say that looks so glamorous, I want to do that too. Is that what I'm saying? Market saturation? That sounds silly. Scratch that one.
I guess it is a big issue. It means being respected or not. If I am expected to work without compensation, then I must have very little intrinsic value. However, I can't demand pay when people can get someone else so easily (even if I am more qualified or not). This is a strange career to be in. I want to talk more about this, but I have to leave so I can drive for an hour and a half to get the the set where I am filming an unpaid student project.
I like the concept and I like the part. It's small, but it will look good in my reel. It's a new concept for me, to be building the foundation of my career on the cheapest bricks with plans of increasing the worth of every layer I add.
Bite size nuggets of self-helptual inspirationality.
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Monday, March 7, 2011
Caring is...caring
How much do you care about things?
How much should you care about things?
So many relationships fall apart because people care about the wrong things. Scratch that, they fall apart because the individuals care very much about certain things but perhaps channel that caring into other aspects. Namely into trivial matters like putting the toilet paper roll in backwards (there is a correct way, just so you know). Is that what the relationship is about? If the rolls go in right, you'll live happily forever? Nah, it's a signifier for being heard and respected, but these are the things we find ourselves caring so much about, to the point of destruction, at times.
I've been seriously wondering how to upgrade my status at work, to get paid for the job I do, not the position I am in, filling the shoes of someone who left, but since I'm doing it so well, they just aren't opening that position up. That means I'm not being recognized in the same financial way my predecessor was. I also do more than him, but he was with the company too long and was far too jaded to really care. That's the path I see myself on. Caring so much about being compensated that I am expending my energy trying to justify my own right to be paid closer to my worth. Do I want to continue working for Columbia? Heck no. Why do I care?...because I do. I would be far happier to clock in my hours there, and clock out the second I leave that building. I should expend my energy in my real passions, instead of in a corporation who can't even put the toilet paper in right!
Something in me needs to change. I may give them a few hours every week, but I cannot give them my energy the rest of the time. I don't need that raise and job title (though I would not reject either), so I need to stop spending valuable head-space on that topic. I need to care less about that. I know me and my need to achieve, but who in their right mind would want to achieve at banging their head against a cold rock?
Perhaps too many people.
Either way, what do I care about?
Love[?] And sharing it in the ways I know how through my writing and acting. And accepting all the hardships that go along with it.
Is that it?
Probably not, but it's a good start, and much better than the other option, the one that ends next to a toilet.
How much should you care about things?
So many relationships fall apart because people care about the wrong things. Scratch that, they fall apart because the individuals care very much about certain things but perhaps channel that caring into other aspects. Namely into trivial matters like putting the toilet paper roll in backwards (there is a correct way, just so you know). Is that what the relationship is about? If the rolls go in right, you'll live happily forever? Nah, it's a signifier for being heard and respected, but these are the things we find ourselves caring so much about, to the point of destruction, at times.
I've been seriously wondering how to upgrade my status at work, to get paid for the job I do, not the position I am in, filling the shoes of someone who left, but since I'm doing it so well, they just aren't opening that position up. That means I'm not being recognized in the same financial way my predecessor was. I also do more than him, but he was with the company too long and was far too jaded to really care. That's the path I see myself on. Caring so much about being compensated that I am expending my energy trying to justify my own right to be paid closer to my worth. Do I want to continue working for Columbia? Heck no. Why do I care?...because I do. I would be far happier to clock in my hours there, and clock out the second I leave that building. I should expend my energy in my real passions, instead of in a corporation who can't even put the toilet paper in right!
Something in me needs to change. I may give them a few hours every week, but I cannot give them my energy the rest of the time. I don't need that raise and job title (though I would not reject either), so I need to stop spending valuable head-space on that topic. I need to care less about that. I know me and my need to achieve, but who in their right mind would want to achieve at banging their head against a cold rock?
Perhaps too many people.
Either way, what do I care about?
Love[?] And sharing it in the ways I know how through my writing and acting. And accepting all the hardships that go along with it.
Is that it?
Probably not, but it's a good start, and much better than the other option, the one that ends next to a toilet.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Running through walls
I set out the new year with a plan to create a regimented schedule to assure I would get things done. Turns out I not only need a schedule, but I need to stick with it! That's craziness.
I want to work more seriously on my web series, mainly writing it and getting the pilot episode polished up so I can use it to get funding for the rest of the season. Turns out other people aren't hiring me for my dream job, so I have to conjure it up. I am getting hired for other (non-paying) roles, which take up some time, especially when one is an obscure Shakespeare work.
Work, that's taking up time too, the job, the thing that gives me money and health insurance. Then family and friends. You know, those things that make life happen. I've let all that fog up my path and I've slowed down to a crawl making sure I don't run into anything in a blind run. I think that might be the wrong approach (or at least not the best one). I cannot wait for the fog to lift to keep going. I need to pretend like I know where the road goes already. What I need to do is the scary thing and keep on running into the unknown, knowing it's the right way.
Maybe this is "the wall" all runners who finish the race go through. It's not a solid thing that tangibly blocks your path, but more of an atmosphere that you knew would be there, but are still surprised at finding yourself enveloped by. Okay then wall; you can stay right where you're at, but I am not. You don't need to do anything, I'm just going to run right through you.
Deal with it.
If I hit a tree, it happens. It won't kill me (unless, maybe if it's a whomping willow). One thing I do know, I'm not going to fall off anything. There's ground under my feet and I'm about to discover more every step of the way.
I want to work more seriously on my web series, mainly writing it and getting the pilot episode polished up so I can use it to get funding for the rest of the season. Turns out other people aren't hiring me for my dream job, so I have to conjure it up. I am getting hired for other (non-paying) roles, which take up some time, especially when one is an obscure Shakespeare work.
Work, that's taking up time too, the job, the thing that gives me money and health insurance. Then family and friends. You know, those things that make life happen. I've let all that fog up my path and I've slowed down to a crawl making sure I don't run into anything in a blind run. I think that might be the wrong approach (or at least not the best one). I cannot wait for the fog to lift to keep going. I need to pretend like I know where the road goes already. What I need to do is the scary thing and keep on running into the unknown, knowing it's the right way.
Maybe this is "the wall" all runners who finish the race go through. It's not a solid thing that tangibly blocks your path, but more of an atmosphere that you knew would be there, but are still surprised at finding yourself enveloped by. Okay then wall; you can stay right where you're at, but I am not. You don't need to do anything, I'm just going to run right through you.
Deal with it.
If I hit a tree, it happens. It won't kill me (unless, maybe if it's a whomping willow). One thing I do know, I'm not going to fall off anything. There's ground under my feet and I'm about to discover more every step of the way.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Web-side voices
For the last few days at work, every time I've taken a break, so has a specific person who has to fill any hint of silence by narrating her actions and thoughts to the room. I don't have much more to say about this other to complain that it happened when I wanted to focus on reading.
Advice: Instead of narrating everything that happens inside your head to a room where people have no choice but to listen to you even if they do not want to but are too polite to tell you to stop, just blog it instead. That way, people don't have to read it if they don't want to and you can still put everything in your head down into words to enlighten the world of your thought processes play-by-play.
(Also why I don't twitter)
Advice: Instead of narrating everything that happens inside your head to a room where people have no choice but to listen to you even if they do not want to but are too polite to tell you to stop, just blog it instead. That way, people don't have to read it if they don't want to and you can still put everything in your head down into words to enlighten the world of your thought processes play-by-play.
(Also why I don't twitter)
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