I miss liking some shows. I remember when 30 Rock started, it...well, it 30 rocked. It was not long after the mourning began over Arrested Development's untimely demise, so it was the closest thing to fill that viewing gap. Every season it improved and got better and better. Last season it was perfect, and continued to be so until the last two episodes. It forgot to tell me that it was keeping its momentum and growing. It got, dare I say, too silly for me. It may be nostalgia, but I remember it taking the characters seriously and giving them room to grow. Now it feels too static, yet feeling the need to keep pushing those boundaries. I guess my lines are drawn in the sand, and it pushed right through them, leaving me here on the beach wondering how I got here. I'll keep watching it, but I know they'll keep pushing the world so far into the ridiculous that I'll lose all connection with it.
Same with The Guild. It wasn't that great to begin with, but I loved the idea of it so much that I supported it (bought season 1 and 2 on DVD out of solidarity). Then season 3 came and with it a rival guild with characters cut from...I dunno, some gothic cereal box, I'm sure. Characters who would never exist as real people, then it kept going and I stopped watching it. It outgrew me.
Maybe that's why I still love Arrested Development, it widowed me, and now all I have is the memory of the good times, and they were all good times. We never had the chance to grow apart. Same with Firefly and the tenth doctor. All my truest loves died young. What am I supposed to do?
I think that's me. I love the heart of things, where they come from. I find that the first albums by bands are my favorite (Cake's Motorcade of Generosity is by far my favorite of theirs, and Weezer Blue is one of my top albums of all time). I think it might be because those are the songs they spent years perfecting, that truly speak from where they come from, before record deals allowed them to create more in shorter periods of time and they attain the lifestyle they always dreamed of, which somehow stunts them in the way that they can live solely in their own worlds. Maybe that's just the story I made up to justify it.
I think my approach to all this is to create something myself and follow its growth and change. Thing about kids, you kind of know what they'll be like when they grow up, but you're never really the one who chooses it for them. Kids grow and change and become bigger versions of themselves until life events happen and they make choices and adjust accordingly. Where will this baby take me? Probably far from where I started, unless it dies young. That's the journey.
Bite size nuggets of self-helptual inspirationality.
Showing posts with label create. Show all posts
Showing posts with label create. Show all posts
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Friday, February 18, 2011
The weight of the world
I love baths. I try to take as many of them as I can. That is my time, alone to think, and read, and create...mostly just to indulge in myself, my body relaxing and my mind minding.
That's my selfish time where I dream about future stories, both my own future (Emmy acceptance speech "...thank you.") and stories I want to tell (how exactly should I beat out that episode? What image can I not separate myself from?). The bath is where the world gets sucked out of me and into the epsom salts (yes, I use them), and bubbles, just for fun (and the scent of pomegranate or cherry blossom is just a nice thing to have around sometimes).
Not sure why I'm using so many parenthesis, these words are being said whether I pretend they're supposed to be a cute secret joke or not.
I just started reading "The Writer's Tale: the Final Chapter", a dialogue between former Doctor Who showrunner Russel T Davies and writer Benjamin Cook. I am opening myself up to that same bold use of honesty. Not sure how this will change or effect my blogs, but I do know that they will be different in some way henceforth. I've just given myself permission, which is..well, just what it is.
The story I was thinking of writing while in the bathtub:
I sometimes enjoy hitting the drain when I am done with the warm water and lie there as it drains, the water lowering in the tub, my body sinking down and down, getting heavier and heavier. What struck me today, is that I've never felt that my body was getting heavier, it's just as I describe it that I think that word. In my mind, every time I do this, I feel the cold air covering more of my front and the heaviness the air brings with it as evidence (in my mind) that I am traveling through space at fantastic speed, accelerating. The weight in my body is proof for that image that I am going faster and faster, and the world is pushing by me so fast I can feel its coldness press against me, waking me up.
What I find is that it is so much harder for me to get up and out of an empty bathtub that has recently been full than it is to get out of one that was empty all along. This is my deep statement that takes me to a million different places. The weight of the world upon re-entry. It's heavy, and worth feeling from time to time.
That's my selfish time where I dream about future stories, both my own future (Emmy acceptance speech "...thank you.") and stories I want to tell (how exactly should I beat out that episode? What image can I not separate myself from?). The bath is where the world gets sucked out of me and into the epsom salts (yes, I use them), and bubbles, just for fun (and the scent of pomegranate or cherry blossom is just a nice thing to have around sometimes).
Not sure why I'm using so many parenthesis, these words are being said whether I pretend they're supposed to be a cute secret joke or not.
I just started reading "The Writer's Tale: the Final Chapter", a dialogue between former Doctor Who showrunner Russel T Davies and writer Benjamin Cook. I am opening myself up to that same bold use of honesty. Not sure how this will change or effect my blogs, but I do know that they will be different in some way henceforth. I've just given myself permission, which is..well, just what it is.
The story I was thinking of writing while in the bathtub:
I sometimes enjoy hitting the drain when I am done with the warm water and lie there as it drains, the water lowering in the tub, my body sinking down and down, getting heavier and heavier. What struck me today, is that I've never felt that my body was getting heavier, it's just as I describe it that I think that word. In my mind, every time I do this, I feel the cold air covering more of my front and the heaviness the air brings with it as evidence (in my mind) that I am traveling through space at fantastic speed, accelerating. The weight in my body is proof for that image that I am going faster and faster, and the world is pushing by me so fast I can feel its coldness press against me, waking me up.
What I find is that it is so much harder for me to get up and out of an empty bathtub that has recently been full than it is to get out of one that was empty all along. This is my deep statement that takes me to a million different places. The weight of the world upon re-entry. It's heavy, and worth feeling from time to time.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Even knitting became a fad again
I can spell the impending downfall of Facebook. I hear people quitting the site all over, for various reasons, maybe because it's turned into a drug for some, maybe because I live in a city of hipsters and their little site has gotten too big for them to appreciate it, maybe it's the pervasive selling of "personal" information. Either way, it can't last much longer as it is in our world.
Our world changes so fast now. One fad to another. Remember that singing fish? I think that was about five fads ago. How do you stay fresh and hip (other than not saying the phrase "fresh and hip")? I do a lot of thinking on that front, on how people create things that are consistently on the cusp of the next thing. What recently occured to me is the longer, easier route, where you don't worry about the rest of the world. Just keep doing what you do. The world may leave you from time to time, but you know that the cycle will bring it right back to your door, so why move to the next big city when you can renovate your own home and stay right there?
Yep, I think I'm getting old.
Our world changes so fast now. One fad to another. Remember that singing fish? I think that was about five fads ago. How do you stay fresh and hip (other than not saying the phrase "fresh and hip")? I do a lot of thinking on that front, on how people create things that are consistently on the cusp of the next thing. What recently occured to me is the longer, easier route, where you don't worry about the rest of the world. Just keep doing what you do. The world may leave you from time to time, but you know that the cycle will bring it right back to your door, so why move to the next big city when you can renovate your own home and stay right there?
Yep, I think I'm getting old.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Running through walls
I set out the new year with a plan to create a regimented schedule to assure I would get things done. Turns out I not only need a schedule, but I need to stick with it! That's craziness.
I want to work more seriously on my web series, mainly writing it and getting the pilot episode polished up so I can use it to get funding for the rest of the season. Turns out other people aren't hiring me for my dream job, so I have to conjure it up. I am getting hired for other (non-paying) roles, which take up some time, especially when one is an obscure Shakespeare work.
Work, that's taking up time too, the job, the thing that gives me money and health insurance. Then family and friends. You know, those things that make life happen. I've let all that fog up my path and I've slowed down to a crawl making sure I don't run into anything in a blind run. I think that might be the wrong approach (or at least not the best one). I cannot wait for the fog to lift to keep going. I need to pretend like I know where the road goes already. What I need to do is the scary thing and keep on running into the unknown, knowing it's the right way.
Maybe this is "the wall" all runners who finish the race go through. It's not a solid thing that tangibly blocks your path, but more of an atmosphere that you knew would be there, but are still surprised at finding yourself enveloped by. Okay then wall; you can stay right where you're at, but I am not. You don't need to do anything, I'm just going to run right through you.
Deal with it.
If I hit a tree, it happens. It won't kill me (unless, maybe if it's a whomping willow). One thing I do know, I'm not going to fall off anything. There's ground under my feet and I'm about to discover more every step of the way.
I want to work more seriously on my web series, mainly writing it and getting the pilot episode polished up so I can use it to get funding for the rest of the season. Turns out other people aren't hiring me for my dream job, so I have to conjure it up. I am getting hired for other (non-paying) roles, which take up some time, especially when one is an obscure Shakespeare work.
Work, that's taking up time too, the job, the thing that gives me money and health insurance. Then family and friends. You know, those things that make life happen. I've let all that fog up my path and I've slowed down to a crawl making sure I don't run into anything in a blind run. I think that might be the wrong approach (or at least not the best one). I cannot wait for the fog to lift to keep going. I need to pretend like I know where the road goes already. What I need to do is the scary thing and keep on running into the unknown, knowing it's the right way.
Maybe this is "the wall" all runners who finish the race go through. It's not a solid thing that tangibly blocks your path, but more of an atmosphere that you knew would be there, but are still surprised at finding yourself enveloped by. Okay then wall; you can stay right where you're at, but I am not. You don't need to do anything, I'm just going to run right through you.
Deal with it.
If I hit a tree, it happens. It won't kill me (unless, maybe if it's a whomping willow). One thing I do know, I'm not going to fall off anything. There's ground under my feet and I'm about to discover more every step of the way.
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