Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Final moments of perfection

My dorm rooms in college were pretty epic. Hammocs and bean-bag love seats aside, the entertainment center and very effective mood lighting including a disco ball, lava lamps and gel projector set a nice social atmosphere. With all the accoutrement, I spent the whole year making small adjustments and adding things here and there to improve the digs. I never felt fully satisfied with the space until the very day before I moved out. I always found the perfect thing just in time to set it up, admire it, then begin to disassemble the work, ready to move on.

There's a pattern for me. Things inevitably achieving perfection only the moment before they change. Either that, or I am only comfortable moving on when things feel good to me.

So yeah, maybe I need to get myself in order before I move out or even "meet someone," which is still odd as a concept. All that time setting up my dorm rooms I never really planned for moving out, that would only delay any move toward improving the space as it was. I just made small steps every day until I had to stop. I guess focusing on the now helped me improve the future more than focusing on the inevitable. Maybe that's why people avoid thinking about death.

Imagine getting everything you wanted in life, then living another 20 years. Those would be some boring years. Everything would be set, wouldn't it be better to gain little bits as you live, making it all perfect until the moment you have to move on? Maybe that's just me. I'd rather eat casserole before cake then the other way around. That is, unless the casserole had aged white Tillamook cheddar. There I go again, I keep skipping a groove with cheese.

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